Local citizen "Jake Tyler Adams" has recently stolen an entire pound of polluted water from the gas station. Fox news officials say that nobody knows how the water got there, but Jake has been caught and arrested by the Police Department for charges of theft and child endangerment. 

We had a guest speaker on the subject, Mr. John, who is a fisherman, said “chicken nuggets with the sauce” and wandered away from the scene. We believe that Mr. John was the reason that the polluted water that was stolen by Jake was in the gas station in the first place, but no evidence has yet been proven, but hopefully more on the subject will appear or come to knowledge soon.

 Farmer Dan is also enraged about this, due to his customers on the waters not coming to buy some of Mr. John’s Pork due to these allegations. No one knows anything for sure, but this was a very important subject that needed to be covered, more to come soon.